’’If it breaks your heart then do something about it.’’ – Glennon Doyle Melton
All around me I see women who don’t deem themselves worthy of the love they so deeply desire and it just breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that we live in a society that has put heartless men on a pedestal, giving them the right to steal our joy, our happiness and distorting the view of our entire body. I have a huge problem with that, so I choose to speak up on behalf of any woman who has felt unheard, unseen and undervalued for being herself.
I understand you, lady, I understand you…and if your voice matters to nobody, well then, it matters to me. I’m sick of this heartless society who makes men always right and woman crazy. This is not about feminism. This is about equality. I’m a huge fan of that by the way, equality I mean. I believe in differences and I respect them. I honor the fact that guys are rational and can put things into perspective, but our society has been based way too much on that. Look where our rationality has brought us – to war. We have minds, but we have no hearts. We have money, but we have no happiness. We have superficial relationships and no idea how to build genuine connections….but apparently, if we speak our minds about that we are the crazy women. If the world is falling apart we are still crazy for feeling ’’way too much’’.
‘’Don’t be oversensitive.’’
’’Why do you have to care so much about that?’’
Well, because that’s how people end up killing themselves ‚’cause nobody wants to do something about it. We all wash our hands, pass the blame to the next person in line and say it’s not my business. If your friend is in a coffin tomorrow and you put your part aside in helping him/ her that suddenly becomes your business, right?
Woman are crazy for feeling everything that is twisted up with this damn world, but men are entitled to be jerks and not have to feel anything. We are the crazy ones, right? If a guy has no respect for a woman and treats her like crap and she feels like something is wrong in her relationship she is oversensitive. Guys, just stop for a minute okay? Feeling things does not make you crazy it makes you different. It makes you beautiful. Us, women have Everest Mountain hearts and we are so giving and loving and nice to people, but then we end up hurt because somehow this world has given men entitlement to treat us the way they want without us saying anything. It gives right to men to rob us of our beautiful bodies and treat us like objects…because we are objects, not human beings. We don’t matter unless we do what we are told. Men can step out of line and not be put in check, but women are crazy. Nobody thinks there is something wrong with the world for allowing something so evil to continue? Nobody thinks that heartless men walking on Earth can damage our world beyond repairing? I think they can and in fact, they are already doing that. I have seen so many beautiful and smart woman caged in relationships with guys that are damaging to them. I’ve seen women with big dreams, huge hearts and hope for a better future stuck in a place with a guy that has no idea how to appreciate them. That uses them as objects, undervalues them, criticizing their opinion and basically destroying everything they are made of…and those women keep these relationships because they think that is all they deserve – pain and heartbreak. This society has taught us, women, that we deserve pain served on a daily basis, with abuse on top of that. This society has destroyed our sense of self-worth. This is the harsh truth. I am unspeakably mad about that.
What I think we need to do is step up and take our confidence back. Open up our hearts. Speak our truths. Love our bodies. Believe in ourselves. We are not crazy, we are the way we are for a reason and if a man is not wise enough to see the amazing person that we are, well then, that man needs to go out the door and bolt it shut behind him. He has no place in our lives. He deserves no space in our hearts and minds and spirit and above all else in our bodies. This man does not understand what it means to love a woman and that is his problem. I believe that we took away so many of our men’s problems and made them about us when in fact it was all about them, to begin with.
He is an alcoholic? His problem.
He likes to flirt with every girl? His problem.
He criticizes others? His problem.
We don’t have to make it about us when it’s not and we don’t have to save him. That is not our job. Our job is o take care of ourselves. If a man cannot appreciate who we are at the core then he doesn’t deserve to look us in the eye anymore. No heartless man who chooses a life of objectifying women and diminishing their self-worth has respect from my part. In fact, those are not even men, those are boys who never grew up to know what is like to love a woman. A strong man doesn’t use mind games to trick girls. A strong man states his opinions clearly and never leaves you in a state of confusion. A strong man has a heart an is vulnerable…and feels a lot because he knows that feelings are a weapon, not a disability. Moreover, a strong man doesn’t have to spend every night in a bar because he knows that he can process his feelings and be okay the next day. A strong man values vulnerability, human connections, speaks his truth and wants to make this world a better place. That is the man every woman deserves but in order to achieve that you need to learn to be a woman and respect yourself. Not settle for confusion, mind games and lies. Settle only for love.