Posted in Writings

Photography And Pain

Michelle was sitting at her desk, staring out of the window at the drops of rain which were touching the clear surface of the innocent glass.She liked photography and loved to capture moments just by taking some pictures.Photography meant life for this girl enjoying the beauty of the melodious rain.Her life was usually a mix of mistakes and bad decisions, but that was not what bothered her at the moment, because today she was happy.It didn’t seem like that, though.She looked heartbroken, hit by pain, but actually Michelle was thinking about the people she had known for a long time.She was the kind of girl with brown eyes, a pretty smile on her face and long blonde hair.Always feeling alive around other people.
Today, her blank expression was caused by one of her good friends.Michelle thought that friends were meant to trust each other and not abandon people in their time of need.It had happened so many times before, but she hadn’t learned the harsh lesson until now.It was the moment when she realized that no matter who would come across she would never trust people so easily again.
Somewhere deep inside her mind was sinking a hidden thought: “to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed”.She remembered the story of a boy who tamed a falcon and made it his friend.It was a sad story, unfortunately.The father of the boy killed the falcon and said those words to his son so he would never teach others how to love, because love is weakness.
A tear escaped from one of her beautiful eyes and she shoved it away, buried along with the words she would never say.The way she felt now was utterly magic.Michelle didn’t know why, but even the photographs she took spoke to her in another language, a foreign one she didn’t understand.The moments seemed strange and wrong as she had a different opinion about some people.It wasn’t quite hatred, more like a subtle disappointment and a blow she hadn’t seen coming.Life, she supposed.Maybe it was meant to be.You couldn’t really stay in the way of fate and she didn’t choose to do so.Maybe it was for the better, maybe it wasn’t, but after all the scars she had another one seemed usual.
Michelle felt different like something was healing and breaking her into pieces at the same time.So fascinated by the past and so eager to see the future.These feelings made her not only strong and weak at the same time, but better, like a new person was born.
When the rain stopped she realized that she had stayed there for over an hour and just thought.Looking closer outside she saw the rainbow making its way through the dark-grey clouds, a ray of light in the darkness.At that point Michelle was certain that no matter who would stand by her side, she would be strong by herself and no matter who would believe in her, she would believe in herself, because that was important in the end.
People come and go, but you will always be alone in some way and you have to be happy and proud about it.That’s the beauty of being hurt.

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"You can tell yourself that you would be willing to lose everything you have in order to get something you want. But it’s a catch-22: all of those things that you’re willing to lose are what make you recognizable. Lose them, and you’ve lost yourself."— Jodi Picoult

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