Posted in Writings

New beginnings

“She was the girl who grew up in a fairytale world full of happy endings

Only to find out that actually life was cruel and hearts were meant to be 

broken…and that’ how she started writing.”

Short to the point, I am that girl in case you didn’t figure out.I wish my story was a happier one, but unfortunately it’s not.In order to answer the question:” who are you and why are you here?”, I will choose to tell this sad story in my own way, but stick to the point.So, enjoy.

I was 16 when it all started.It was a sweet age when I was crazy, carelless and free, but madly in love with the wrong person.My first mistake was that I loved someone who was not right for me, but this happens to everyone at some point,  (unless you’re perfect) , I guess.My second mistake was that I put all my worth, my feelings and my heart in this so-called “relationship”.The ending…not so funny, trust me.

It was a kind of agreement between us, but I suffered the most.I found myself lost in this cruel world, I just wanted everything to come to an end so that I could finally be happy.I pretty much hated myself.Yeah, I know not so great.

Well, the good news is I had some amazing friends who talked to me, encouraged me and showed me the bright side when I didn’t see any light.I can’t say they didn’t help, but something was still missing, the healing was not complete.

I remember clearly that one day I was sitting on a chair and I turned my head to see a wide-open window.It was raining outside.The main idea is that I remained inspired.I went home and I wrote my first story.
I was happy about it, but I wanted everyone to read it. A friend of mine suggested me to make a blog.I was way too afraid in the beginning to share my feelings with the whole world, but I decided to try.
Here I am now, telling you all of this, dear reader.I am happy and I learned from my mistakes.More than that, I figured out how I want my blog to be: emotional, just like me.I want to write how I feel.Maybe this will help others in a way, because I was helped too and I want at least to give something back.I never imagined that my blog would be like this as I was terrified to show the readers my personal side.I need to make something clear: this is how I am, I can’t fake it.I tried to write a lot of stuff just to avoid sharing my feelings, letting others “get close” to me, because I knew my heart couldn’t handle it.
This was my past and it’s long gone.What matters is the irony that one heartbreak created all of this or better yet, I did after my heart was literally shattered to pieces.So, I guess I am stronger than I ever was before.Not untouchable, not unbreakable.I am way too emotional to be like that.I was blessed to see “the rainbow” of my life, the true colours of the world I live in and all I can say is that it’s so damn beautiful with all its flaws.

My blog is and will always be about me, my life and my heart, the people I love and the ones who touch my soul.Sometimes, I choose abstract subjects, but I think you alredy understand what I mean.

Finally, I want to thank all my readers for sticking with me as I have to admit, sometimes I write a lot and it is a lot to read, as well.Another special thanks to the person who broke my heart, because I do feel that he deserves it and big hugs for all my friends who encourage me with my writing.I love you guys so much.

P.s: English is my second language, I forgot to mention.I admit I have mistakes, but I try my best all the time.I also chose English because in this way I can influence more people or help them.

P.s 2: A very sweet and special “thank you” for the guy who encouraged me with his kind words to show off with my blog.He helped me a lot, especially with what he said:

“Sometimes all you need is to feel.”

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Author:

"You can tell yourself that you would be willing to lose everything you have in order to get something you want. But it’s a catch-22: all of those things that you’re willing to lose are what make you recognizable. Lose them, and you’ve lost yourself."— Jodi Picoult

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