A special gift

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Easy Fix.”

Dear S.,

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago we were just two children. Now, we are teenagers. How did time fly so fast? It was like yesterday we played outside all day and now we have to decide our future. I guess life happened…but I still remember our childhood. Do you remember that sweetness? Do you remember that innocence? We put tattoos on walls in order to make a collection and every time you went home mad at us I blamed myself even though it wasn’t my fault. You were so gentle and I was so tough. Just two kids. You and I.

We went to each other’s apartments and I know that you gave me sweets. I couldn’t have loved you more for that. I liked to play on the computer with you because I didn’t have one at that time. You were my closest guy friend. I clearly remember the first time you told me you loved the girl from the other apartment block and I was wondering how it is like to be ‘in love’. She had long hair and she was so girly, and here I was, with a pixie cut and the most boyish girl I’ve ever met. I wanted to be like her and I was so jealous, but not because you loved her, but because she was everything I wasn’t. I’m sorry she left to go to another country. You had that sparkle in your eyes when you talked about her. I was there for you, holding you so that you won’t fall apart. It was heartbreaking for me.

Anyway, let’s cheer up. Do you remember that joke I made to scare you with the other boys? He dressed scary and rang your doorbell. When you opened the door he said ‘Your time has come, Sebastian’ and I rang the bell. After that we went to your apartment and you were shivering. We thought it was fun. I’m sorry if we terrified you. How could I forget the time we played in the apartment block the game with the light (we had to run in the darkness from the 4th floor to the entrance) or the lava floor thing? Everytime it was near Halloween we had pumpkins and we put them at our doors, the candlelight shining through their mouth and eyes. We told scary stories in the darkness and ate sweets. Yeah, it was so fun, but all those days are gone. We grew up and you were always there for me when I needed someone to hold me, to hug me, to fix me. You were there for me when I broke my hand, you were there for me when I got my heart broken 3 times and you were there for me when I was betrayed by my so-called ‘friends’ and I was there for you, too. You did so much for me. How could I not say ‘thank you’? We had ups and downs but what friendship doesn’t? After all, we are people, we make mistakes and we learn from them. It is an honour to know that you are my best friend. One time, last year, you held me in your arms and I cried because the world wasn’t fair. Do you know what you said? You told me that you didn’t want to see me crying, that I shouldn’t cry. That time he broke my heart you made me that sweet Lana del Rey soundtrack and told me that depression is not for me, that I am a happy person and it will last for a short time. When I fell in love and I told you that I was scared, because I didn’t want to get hurt again, you answered that I should man up as I could go through any hurt and love would be worth the risk. All the time.

You think I am so strong and I don’t believe there is another better word to describe me, but I am gentle, too. I learned that one from you, sweetie. Most people think you’re my boyfriend, but who could blame them? We often go out together, take pictures and have fun. We walk under the same umbrella when it rains and you open doors for me. Each time I see you, we hug. We have a beautiful friendship and I do all this because I love you. Not in that romantic way, but in that ‘you’re my best friend kind of way’. You mean a lot to me. I  can’t really describe into words what your support means to me. I realise you want me to be happy, but I want you to be happy, as well. I don’t want to smile if you cry. If I could go back in time I would never change our friendship because I found someone like you when I was only a baby. You have a good heart, S. You will always be my Tristy and I’ll always be your Lucy. Our friendship went through a lot and we are still best friends, taking care of each other better than we did before. I will always, always, love the way you treat me whenever I need someone to talk to. You know I am a hopeless romantic, always in love with someone and always talking about guys. I feel privileged to know I am one of the few persons who you trust. I know you. The real you. Many don’t, but I do. Keep smiling, sunshine, at least today, because it is your birthday and you deserve the best gift ever. Do you know why? Because that’s how the story starts: ‘Once upon a time a guy met a girl. And all was right in the world.’

With sincerity,
Your best friend

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Let’s get inspired

Hey guys,

To be honest, sometimes I feel like posting inspiring stuff, just to be more motivated. A few months ago I created a Facebook page ,especially for this blog, but I didn’t update it much.

Lately, as I feel more and more inspired, I thought that posting sayings or photos on it wouldn’t be a bad idea. This is what I am going to do, apart from, of course, sharing my blog posts. I thought it would be a good idea to tell you about it. Maybe it would help some people because whenever I feel down, I search for something that keeps me going. See this as a hand of help. Hopefully!

Sharing is caring, so this is my page. Feel free to check it out.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Happiness-Is-An-Allegory/1502984446601873

With love,

A friend

Gentle

I was so mad I swear I was about to punch him. He looked at me so defiant and full of himself like he knew everything that is to be known. At that point I thought ‘Damn you. Do you think you know everything? You don’t know a single damn thing about me.’
How could I not be sick of it? He was so calm and all while I was here, trying to make sense of my own feelings. I was so guilty and he was just pushing my buttons.
‘Let’s not fight, please’, he said with pleading eyes. It almost melted my heart, but I tried to be as cold as I could.
‘Fine. I will be mad, I won’t tell you why and then we will pretend like nothing ever happened at all. Deal?’, I said harshly, staring intently into his eyes. It was more like wanting to intimidate him than to reassure myself that the words were true.
‘Okay. I agree with you.’, he smiled nonchalantly.
‘Perfect. See? Problem solved.’, I said as detached as I could. Only I knew what I was feeling inside..
‘Okay’, he said again.
‘Are you happy now?’, I asked in a sarcastic tone.
‘Yes, I am.’
Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried to brush them away. I wasn’t happy at all, but I had to keep it all together. He was waiting for an answer. I turned my head towards the desk, which was on my right, and a tear ran down my cheek. I hoped he couldn’t see it. Then, I turned around and faced him.
‘Well…then I am happy , too,’ I half-lied.
‘Okay’, he winked unexpectedly.
I was really taken aback, but he made me smile.
‘If you keep on saying Okay we will fight. This is not The Fault in Our Stars.’
‘Okay’, and he laughed so hard while I was staring at him, then said:’Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. So…now we’re serious..’
‘No’, I was trying to say while laughing. I couldn’t stop it. It was so funny. ‘We’re not. You make me laugh’, I said happily. How could I be mad anymore? He was so sweet.
‘Damn you’, I put my hands on his chest like trying to push him away from me. Obviously, he was stronger and my gesture was just for show.
‘You don’t even let me to be mad at all’ , I said with sparkling eyes and a wide smile.
He looked at me intently, but didn’t reply.
‘I will tell the police about this, you know?’, I warned sarcastically.
‘No, you won’t’, he said jokingly.
‘They won’t hurt you. They don’t want to mess with God..’
He laughed so hard that I felt his muscles tensing and relaxing under my hands. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, but his answer saved me. I got lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice when he stopped laughing.
‘You’re funny, you know?’
Of course I did. I wanted to make him laugh, too. Payback.
‘If you don’t let me be sad…’, I said so victimized and looked at him with a puppy-eyed expression. It worked. His ego was boosted enough.
‘I know. I’m so good at this,’ he said full of himself. So confident.
‘You’re so modest. And so good at this…’, I said like I was a damsel in distress, needing his protection against the big bad dragon, but I just played his game to make him feel good.
‘Hmmm…Thank you’, and he smiled so wide that I could see his teeth. His eyes had been staring into mine for so long that I forgot my hands were on his chest. This time I really felt bad about this game I tried to play and I said honestly:
‘Why do you like to make me feel better?’
‘Because you’re my friend’, he said it with such an emotion that it brought me back to reality. I took my hands away and placed them on my sides.
‘I’m sorry…for…’, I wanted to say ‘for touching your chest, but I blushed and the words didn’t come out. Of course, he understood what I meant.
‘It’s fine. Don’t worry’, he blushed, too.
‘You’re so sweet. Thank you for making me feel better.’
I expected him to reply, but instead he hugged me. Until I realised what really happened my head was on his chest and I could smell his perfume. It was so masculine that it made him seem strong. I have no idea what I felt, but his arms were all around me and my ear heard his heart beating under his T-shirt. The hug was tighter and tighter and I felt so good about it. Then, I sensed his muscles tensing and he said:
‘You’re welcome.’
That was it. My heart just melted at the sound of his voice…while his remained untouchable. How good am I at screwing things up? I should be mad, but he made me laugh. I wanted to desperately tell him everything, that he knew me better than anyone else, but no words came out of my mouth..and I just melted in his warm hug. His whisper brought me back to life:
‘Do you want me to be happy?’, he paused…to emphasize what was coming next. ‘I want you to be happy, too.’
A shiver went through my body when I heard his words and I forgot about the world for a while, abandoning myself completely in his loving embrace.
*based on a true story*

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