Rain is pain

“The drops of rain were touching the pavement
her tears echoed the silence of the weather
And the
feelings of the sky. “

With each little sparkle splashed on the window
Her inspiration grew stronger and stronger
While the world was getting smaller and smaller
And the illusion was just perfect.
Rain is pain, love and happiness,
The landscape didn’t feel like less
Every window did tremble in a complex game of chess,
Just as the sidewalk was a mess,
Betrayed with brokenness.
The selfish drops were making their way down to the ground,
Without a care concerning the crowd
Who anxiously wished to be somewhere else
Not in a rain which gives them hope
But then leaves them all alone. 
How selfish can you be?
Instead of feeling proud, she felt so empty.
The party was going on
The teardrops dancing in the rain
And the sounds of splashing water brought only pain.
Broken dreams, empty promises, a scent in the air,
You could feel this everywhere.
Each soul was sad, selfish and mad.
The rain made them forget,
Forget about the past, the future and the now
And brought them down to the ground
In a world shallow enough to let it show
How one heart can’t let it go.
Staying in her room, by the window
She wanted that blissful, peaceful snow
Which always left her in ‘awww’
But instead she was left right here
To hear the sparkles of the painful rain.
You get what you give
Instead of getting peaceful,
You just get empty things.
The souls are dead, rotten inside
The rain makes a shadow to the sky
Coming down with a strong cry
The painful happiness remains trapped inside.


The Drawer of Mind

“I opened my drawer of mind

And set people’s opinions free

Because if I were them I would have loved to be set free , as well,

But I’m not.”

I opened up my drawer and many things were thrown there
The necklace I once used to wear,
The notebook I used to care with me everywhere,
The lies I used to tell
And my journal of despair.
‘Oh, sweet, little necklace, I miss you,
I’m sorry that you broke when I needed you’
The ‘M’ shined bright in the darkness of the night
And sat there still, untouched, alive and ill.
My gaze turned, eyes blurred,
I fixed my eyes on the figure: the heart-shaped watch
Which does not match with time at all
Broken and left behind, put away in my drawer piece of mind.
‘Oh, sweet watch, come back to me.
Let us go free and let my eyes see
You’re breaking was meant to be’
I waited and no response came
But I took the blame
It was only a watch who showed me how to match timing
With the sensation of heart warming.
‘I miss you so much but I know it ain’t right
I can’t go back to who I was before
And neither can you anymore’
My heart, my heart, my heart
That’s all my eyes saw in that watch
A perfectly good heart, untouched
About to break, about to shake, about to die
A girl happy enough with a smile
About to die.
‘My heart-shaped watched, your lines are clear,
Your smile is bright
And once it used to echo
But, darling, this ain’t right
Not anymore
You’re a long-lost dream I can’t get back at all. ‘
Sadly, I closed the drawer slowly and thought about the reasons ‘why’
Why so many lively things are supposed to die?
Yet, I know that people move on from the storm
This is what makes them strong
And that’s why the girl I used to be is gone.

Out of Touch, Out of Mind

You’re right in front of me and I can’t touch you, oh, sweet, echo slightly painful; the red-coloured notebook faded to black and its colours became numbed by the darkness of the day. Funny, isn’t it? The world is one thing today and tomorrow.. you can never know if there is even the next day.. so, make the best of it today. Out of touch, out of mind, oh, sweet notebook, you’re right in front of me and I can’t touch you. Your pages are full of stories which sometimes I want to erase but if I do that, then what’s left of me? Yeah, too much philosophy. The little cat is smiling with shining eyes at me and I can’t even dare to set her free. I can’t open the notebook. Too many illusions are written in there, I don’t want to be haunted by past ghosts without a care. Yet, still, I suffer. The need to write is too strong for me to resist it, I want to open it and read it and throw it. It’s all my heart in there after all. How stupid to put your life between some mere pages; Why did I ever do it? I remember: because they can’t judge you. Thinking it over, turning the notebook again and again in my hands I realised there is not only one heart in there but many souls that I stole without others permission or acknowledgement. You, soul thief, where was your permission? Lost in some kind of mission, unaware of what you were about to do. Unaware that someone loves you, too. Many hearts, souls, dreams, regrets and heartbreaks. I don’t want to see again how I felt in my moments of despair, of hatred towards you. I don’t wanna touch you, hear you, see you. I don’t wanna know you. I wanna forget you. You’re right in front of me and I can’t touch you. I can’t love you. I can’t have you. I simply can’t. I miss you like crazy every day and probably you have no idea how I feel or what I say but it’s simply just okay. Darling, you’re far away and I am here but somehow you’re closer in my soul even though I have to let you go. I want to turn these pages into pieces, destroying every trace but with this I don’t get grace. I get darkness. Freedom, freedom I hear it every day, a vow I swear to keep no matter if I’m sinking deep. As I was staying there alone and probably forgotten I understood that I was talking with my own heart and it was telling me that things are fine and everything will be alright. You’re right in front of me and I can’t touch you. Even if I could I wouldn’t let myself to. I’m sorry that I hurt you but there’s something you need to understand: you can’t truly get love if you don’t have pain. I’m sorry that you think you’re hurting me but I’m not broken, I am free. I can’t love you in a cage but I can kiss you in the rain. Kidding, I won’t do that. Sweetheart, there’s no way in changing someone’s feelings and you shouldn’t want to because there’s no way in stopping my affection for you. You’re right in front of me and I can’t touch, distance doesn’t get you and my heart doesn’t take you. You’re never there when I need you and you never talk to me when I want to. You don’t really listen to me anyway. So.. what’s the point of loving you? I don’t know how my notebook opened suddenly and tragically. The words written: Freedom. I got you now, I got the answer but still it doesn’t make me miss you less, it makes me miss you more. You’re right in front of me and I can’t touch you, my heart screams ‘i love you’ with freedom. How bitter-sweet to care about someone like this. The person you want to talk to usually never does but it’s okay, because that’s what freedom does. It’s just sad to know that I gave my best to see you happy and you don’t even appreciate it. You don’t even ask for me. I did everything and you? Nothing. That’s why I’m waiting to see. You’re right in front of me and I can’t touch you. Oh sweet, little notebook let me open you because that’s what is left of me. The stories, the feelings and your company. The pages are amazing, some tears ran down my cheeks and I became to understand why people think I’m good enough and why I should love you no matter what. You’re far away and I can’t touch you but I don’t want to. Freedom means loving without wanting to. All my glory you ignored it but I wish you the best because you’re somehow better than the rest. I love you, I miss you and you know it. But the thought of freedom makes all of this go. I hope you’re kinda happy while thinking about her.

The Anthem of Glory

“With broken pieces you can build a masterpiece”

Once upon a time she was let down, betrayed and left behind,
The shiny sky was impossible to be seen as she was totally blind.
Although she felt like losing, the odds were by her side
And she decided to see the light, to take off the veil called ‘blind’.
Time passed so quickly like everything around us does
The world moves quickly, just like technology does
And after one year there she was:
Ready to take the fight, ready to make things right.
‘It shall be darkness in order to be light
It shall be chaos for the world to know order
It shall be cages for us to know freedom
It shall be mistakes so that we can change’,
she thought to herself once while falling asleep
And she sank deep, deep and deep in the realm of dreams.
A place where all the happy endings were possible and dreams came true
And she knew that one day they won’t be just a dream,
But a sweet happy ending thing called reality.
Each day she worked to be better, stronger and wiser than before
To see the glory of it all.
She repeated endlessly ‘impossible’ means something else
She wrote ‘I’m possible’ on her soul, on her heart
And she began to call it art.
This girl fought and fought and fought,
Against mentalities and the laws of physics,
Against those who decided to be unfair
But most of all she decided to fight against her own mistakes
Because the only person she wanted to beat was her own old self.
One day she made it, the day glory rang on her door,
She almost fell to the floor because this aching story about heartbreak and loss
Became something else entirely, something called sheer blessing.
She realised she didn’t feel like competing with someone anymore
Because she was enough and metaphorically speaking no one could ever compete with her.
The world, was once an illusion impossible to beat
But now it’s just okay when you see everything so clear, anyway.
She realised that good and bad are just comparisons
And that getting angry over people would be in vain
Even though they live a lie they can’t even comprehend.
Love, love, love it was the answer to it all,
To all the questions,
And she couldn’t lie, not at all
As the world is not only black or only white
But a combination of the two: black and white.
‘Save me, my hero’ , she used to say
But then she understood that she doesn’t need a white knight,
She needed to fight her own fight and that’s how she won.
She aced at life, day after day  after day
With each passing second she became better than the person she used to be
And she got it that hating cuts the betting,
Jealousy clearly cages people,
Love kinda means freedom,
Being at the top doesn’t mean I’ll smile because I brought you down
Au contraire, give me your hand I’ll raise you up
No matter who you are or what you did to me,
Hatred in the end solves exactly nothing.
The mist of glory didn’t get into her head as she was exactly the same old simple girl
But she just understood that no one could love her more than she could herself
And no one would ever fight her battle with the demons
She was the only one who could.
In the end, she was so proud of herself
Because she aced the tests impossible to be aced
And she became her own heroine,
The girl with the broken pieces became whole
Because she clearly realised that this is what make us, us
A soul, a heart, a mind
And that we’re all the soldiers of the light.
If someone would ask her how to be your own hero,
She would respond with: ” make things right
And learn from your mistakes
The past? Screw it, you can’t change it
The future? You create it
Your life? You make it.
How to be a hero? Be kind, always.
Keep that as a reminder.”
Once upon a time there was a girl whose life was a mess,
Look at her now, that girl is her own heroine
So if you tell her that things are not ‘meant to be’ she’ll tell you that they are
A palm can help you more than a caress if you get it.
So, get back up, the fight is not over until you say so.
If she would have given up one year ago she wouldn’t have been where she is today:
Proud of herself, of her friends, of her choices and of her mistakes
And most of all proud that she once screwed things up
Without that all of this wouldn’t have meant that much.
Love, love, love was the answer to the question
With it echoed freedom
And along glory
With her heart set on fire
And a soul cleaned of ice
With a huge. sensation of peace set inside
Our heroine was light and ready to conquer the world one more time.

“And she owes some thanks to all those who were there for her when no one else was
And she could count them on her fingers: S, V and A
They were the best because they made her better, greater
They made her who she is today.”

Let’s lose ourselves

“Let’s get drenched in the fog and forget about this world for a while
Because the only person I am thinking about is myself.”

Let’s get lost in a place with no emotions

And just stay still.

We will be at the mercy of the touch of the wind

And I’ll show you the nature’s beauty:

The chirping of birds echoing the sound of freedom,

The sound of love.

I’m starting to understand the reasons why you do try to distance from her

And the reasons why you don’t.

Do you think I won’t?

It’s just so hard to see you like that,

Thorn between the alive and the dead.

I need as much time as you do

Because there’s no way in forcing someone to love you

But it’s okay,  you know?

I mean,  you can’t say you truly love someone until you let them go.

Let’s be confused for one second

We’re in this fog called “life”, anyway,

It’s always the time to laugh and play

And be extremely happy.

It took me ao many years to understand meaning of words,  of life,  of love,

To learn my lessons and be strong,

Not wrong.

You always pushed me further,

Making me better with each step that I take

And I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that,

My friend.

So… let’s lose ourselves

In this world full of pain and empty dreams

And see the bright side one more time

Because life is not only dark and unkind

But also blissful and peaceful.

There’s light at the end of the road.

Step by step we’re getting there

If we drop the cold and take the heat

In order to feel complete.

So.. one last time

Let’s be happy and heartbroken

And selfish

But let’s be together…

And I swear to set you free.

In the end that’s what love is all about right?


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