Posted in Writings

Red dress

The tall, slim girl in front of me was wearing a blood-red dress that tightened her body. Her hair was partially falling in her face, blurring her vision little by little. She was making small hand gestures in order to see clearly and in return it made me notice her wonderful eyes. The colour of the blue sky was reflected in them. She looked so perfect, so flawless and yet…something was missing. I had to admit that her lips were the colour of cherries and probably she tasted so good to be kissed, but somehow a piece of herself was lost between the beauty of her physical appearance and the reality of her soul.

”What happened? What changed?”, I asked myself out loud, (by mistake, of course) without realising that she probably heard me….I was astonished to see her turn her back and look my way with those…eyes of hers that could kill everyone only with one glance.

“What’s your problem?Why are you looking at me like that?”, she asked, but little did she know about the truth.

I remembered that day. So vivid in my mind…and everytime I looked at her from then on everything just reminded me of….tears and sadness and how projections that you had built up for so long can actually shatter in the blink of an eye.

I was there with my best friend, Chelsy, talking about some random subject with her and Jane (probably about photography or writing, who knows?)…when Chelsy looked away for a brief second, enough to take in what was going on in front of her. I didn’t even realise, because when I talk I’m so caught up in what I’m saying to notice what’s happening in front of me…and I was really interested in what Jane was saying about this boy she liked. Suddenly, Chelsy touched my arm and said (I swear I can still hear her voice so strong and clear, without any trace of doubt): “Look, who is crying!”….I raised my head up and I saw how the girl in front of me right then and there was shedding back her tears. It broke my heart…because, in a way, it reminded me of myself…and it was sad. Really sad. I knew that Chelsy couldn’t make out the pain showing on my face….but she found out about that later when I was blaming myself for being unable to help this girl….and Jane, I think she was already used to her tears….I was the only one marked by it.

“Nothing. I’m not even looking at you…Sorry.”

“Good”, she said back. “Get lost.”

Although it took seconds for me to reply to her question, in my mind the memories rushed back again and again…and I did got lost, lost in my thought and feelings.

P.S: I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Maybe because the little helpless girl and the one who looks amazing in front of my eyes is actually the same person…although it may sound strange to you, I think that we all have sides that we don’t show to the world…and this was a side of someone I never wanted to see…since somehow it was the blunt truth. People are not actually skin deep and I believe that before judging someone by the way they look you’d better get to know their soul. Let me tell you, sometimes this may not be pretty at all, because you are forced to see the heartbreak hidden beneath a pretty smile.

 

 

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"You can tell yourself that you would be willing to lose everything you have in order to get something you want. But it’s a catch-22: all of those things that you’re willing to lose are what make you recognizable. Lose them, and you’ve lost yourself."— Jodi Picoult

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