Posted in Writings

Asleep

The queen is asleep, living in her land of fairytales. A place where Gods do exist and they make even more mistakes than mortal human beings. A land in which dreams come true for a change. Here lives knights in shining armours….and every girl is a princess,a goddess. Well, in her sleep, she tells to herself this story, because as beautiful as the God she admires is in her head, in real life is an illusion and she needs to come back to life...and to reality.

“What it’s like to keep an illusion in your heart? It’s heartbreaking because you know that you don’t love the actual person, you love an ideal, an illusion….but you keep it deep down in a corner of your soul. Hoping. Wasting your time, because it’s not real…and the reality, the reality is more beautiful than you can ever imagine...but you are blinded, shattered, destroyed and you can’t see its true colours when you are caught up in a dream. You are fighting with yourself and you feel like falling, like failing, but you are actually winning...because, although you have moments when you are imprisoned in the arms of the past, you let it go bit by bit. You love the present too much to let it go to waste for a promise, which was never honoured, for a happiness that would never come true. You call yourself “crazy” because you know that you shouldn’t be feeling something like this, not right now, not ever...but you still do…and you hate yourself...since you cut yourself with a knife and it hurts every inch of your body. “Don’t!”, “Stop!”….are the words that you hear most often. “Life is beautiful, don’t waste it!”, echoes your mind….but your heart whispers “Do it!” and it’s like a fight of good versus bad, black versus white. It’s hard when a soul is torn in two pieces, trying to keep itself whole. It’s hard to fight a battle and win. You have to, there is no other choice. It’s a pity to suffer all the time and you don’t really want to. A choice, that’s what the person in this situation has to make. Me, in this case….and I choose to let it all go, to draw the line, to be happy. I choose reality over a dream, love instead of hate. Who is that crazy to give up the best thing in life for an impossible wish? No one, I guess. Not even me. Call it whatever you want, I call it game over. When the past knocks on my door I’ll say “Sorry, I’m busy with living in the present!”

Lots of love,

Queen of Hearts