That I wasn’t beautiful.
These words echoed through my head
Like monsters waiting to rape me of my skin
And then leave me all alone, crying with my back against the wall…
For decades these words haunted me
Like they were storms living in my bones, my soul…and my heart,
Like they were a tsunami hitting the shore,
Destroying everything in its path.
Until one day when everything changed….
That was the day that I met you.
You showed me that I was more than just my scars and my past
That I could also be my future.
You taught me how to love myself because you told me that I was beautiful…
And I believed in rainy days, fragility,
Late night conversations,
In sunshine and flowers blooming all around.
I believed in you and I believed in love
Because my life was beautiful and I was too.
One day you decided that I was not enough for you,
Packed your bags and left,
Without looking back.
It broke my heart for a while
But then I realised that I was lucky…
Because I could sit down with myself
Realising that I was beautiful
Even without a man in my life.
My heart and thighs were made of space
Waiting to be filled inside,
But I was more than just an object,
I was pain, blue sky, sunrise,
I was love
Because I loved myself more than I ever loved anyone else…
And I realised that you were right,
I could see that so clearly now
When I know that I’m not just my past,
I am also my future.