”I know why I want to save people’’, I told her.
’’Why so?’’, she replied.
’’Because I dream’’, I answered.
She looked at me taken aback,
Almost ready to leave, but not quite so
Because probably what I said seemed new and exciting
Like kissing a boy for the first time
Or visiting a new city,
Finding all its hidden alleys in one day
Or maybe like finding the cracks under your skin while watching a movie,
But most likely as painful and as sweet as change.
’’Are you crazy?’’
The question came out of nowhere
As if I was being hit by a bus right there
And I felt it while I was still standing on my own two feet….
’’We all dream’’, she said
’’Isn’t that what human beings are supposed to do?’’, she continued,
Her voice sounding like the wind – soft and beautiful.
I looked her straight in the eye
Replying with thunderstorms and knives instead of words
Because that’s what my heart became in that moment.
’’Not like me’’, I said
I dream of saving the world, of being the hero….
But most of the time I find it hard to save myself from falling in love….
Or failing at something……
Do you know why?’’
She moved her head from side to side like a ’’no’’ sign not said with her lips…
’’Because I’m not supposed to’’,
I replied with a skin made of the ashes of all the boys I ever loved.
’’Life isn’t supposed to be a fairytale in which the hero saves someone from himself….
It’s supposed to hurt
So that we know it’s real
And not perfect.”
My voice cracked.
She nodded, taking some steps back,
Like a ghost leaving a house she always haunted
And I retreated in my dreams
To have the things that weren’t real
Since they were beautiful.