The getaway to our freedom

’’Forgiveness is born in a place of true sorrow, befriends the need to change the past and hates the very thing that creates it – heartbreak. ’’

Funny, isn’t it? How in a single moment our life is changed by our acknowledgment that we need to forgive in order to be happy. We need to let go of the past if we want to fulfill our destiny. Here we are, in front of our own armors for the second time, but now we are stronger. We want to forgive. We make conditions about it all – I will forgive if this person does this, this and this. We come up with a list of unreasonable things…as if forgiveness could be given if one checks stuff on a list. We think that changing others is the solution to our problems, when in fact it is indeed changing ourselves. Seeing with the heart instead of the eyes….or as I like to say, seeing with the eyes of love in order to find our freedom.

Here, with our armors laid down, looking in the mirror, forgiveness does not seem like such a scary thing anymore. All we know about it is that is hard, unreasonable and it cannot be just inside our heads. We have to feel it with our hearts. It needs love in order to survive because true forgiveness is a matter of the heart. It’s an act of giving up ourselves to the pain, the sorrow, the grief and the heartbreak of the offense. Not making it right or wrong, but simply accepting that it happened. That’s it. Not justifying. Not condemning. Just accepting the pain, sitting with it and loving the person anyway.

Forgiveness is hard, but it’s beautiful because it shows the power of true love, the acceptance of being human and the mistakes that come along with it. Giving up the need to be right is not easy, but only those who forgive can truly find their freedom.

Lay your armor down and make a wise choice today.

Hugs,

Mădă

Image source: https://tiagcsephotobrandonazevedo.weebly.com/personal-identity.html

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Limits are for the weak, strong people take action

Image source: https://titaniumsuccess.com/6-reasons-why-people-dont-take-action/

What is your value? How much is your worth? What price should you be paid for? No, this is not about work, this is about having self-esteem. I think we spend too much of our day, week or month looking down on us, criticising and belittling who we are just because we are surrounded by those who do not appreciate others enough. Listen to me. You can be one of the most amazing, beautiful, kind-hearted and smart person in the world and someone, somewhere will not see how much you are worth. Your job is to find people who do appreciate who you are as a person and limit time with those who don’t. Yes, it’s hard to say ‚’’no’’ to people you’ve known for a while, but sleeping well at night is even better.

You have value, but in order to grow true honesty is needed. Honesty about your shortcomings as well as about your success. A bs story about what a victim you are is not working anymore, not if you want to be successful in life. Yes, you might have faced some challenges, so what? We all do. This is not my way of not validating you, this is my way of saying – you want something, get to work and stop complaining about why you don’t have it yet. The people who achieve success work hard for it. Period. Get on your knees, fail 10.000 times, but at least try. If it doesn’t work, try even harder until it pays off. You are valuable, but if you do nothing with your life you will achieve nothing in return.

If you do not put up boundaries and dictate to others how to treat you don’t complain about being a doormat. You did it to yourself. Yes, we need to learn to be responsible for a change.  Victims of situations never changed anything here on this Earth. Powerful people take back control, choose to invest wisely, spend time with successful people and don’t waste their energy on those who do not care. Stop begging those who do not see your worth to stay in your life. Let them go.

You deserve the best because you exist, but there is something else you need to know. In life, you do not get what you deserve. In life, you get what you settle for. If you settle for crumbs and leftovers from a table, of course, you do not have a full awesome meal. If something is not right, get up and change it. Raise your standards. Set limits. Be ruthless and take care of yourself. An environment of pain and destruction does not lead to growth. You shape the environment in which you live, you have power. Maybe those around you will never change. Some people enjoy their miserable life and their sadness. They cling to it because there is so much more benefit in doing nothing and then complaining than in actually trying to change things, to shake the world up. Become irreplaceable and become good at the things that you like. Increase your value by putting energy and effort into people, work, hobbies and passions that do pay off. Increase your value by speaking your truth and taking actions toward a better and more fulfilling life. Yes, it’s hard, but guess what staying in a place that breaks your heart is even harder.

As I said, some people might never change, they enjoy their sadness. It doesn’t matter if you are the one who wants to change. Do it. Even if it means getting rid of everything you know. At the end of the day you will be happy and them in the same place. Maybe by bringing change, you will show those who underestimated you that yes, you’re awesome and yes, they were wrong when they did not believe in your dreams. It doesn’t matter. Do it for you. Prove to the world that you can get anywhere you put your mind to. Change yourself and the world around you will change.

Lots of love,

Mădă

Make it better, choose your heart


Image source: https://favim.com/image/130184/

”Evil is real and powerful, but love is realer and more powerful’’ –Glennon Doyle

This post is inspired by the video posted on Glennon Doyle’s Facebook page about separating children from their families in the USA, something which I strongly believe is against humans rights. I encourage you to check the video out before reading. It’s truly inspiring. Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/glennondoyle/

’’There has always been great evil and using people as pawns for power.’’ –Glennon Doyle

I don’t think there’s another phrase that describes our world in a better way. Yes, there will always be problems that seem like they don’t have a solution when in fact they do. We need to become the heroes that we wish to look up to because this world will break our hearts. It will make us angry with its injustice, it will stomp our hearts to the ground and it does that only because this world is in pain. People are in pain and what we need to do when we feel that is turn to love, turn to forgiveness, turn to acceptance. We need to have to courage to face our fears and heal the wounds in our hearts. In a world of chaos, we do not all need to be the same – broken and defeated. Most of the time defeat is in the eye of the beholder and if you feel like a winner even in the crises, trust me, you are. Let’s become better. Open our hearts, forgive and let anger and heartbreak not hold us back, but move us forward.

Anger gives us hope because it rises when we perceive injustice. Anger is a fuel that makes us fight for what we feel in our hearts to be right. I know I’m an idealist, but I believe in people’s rights over everything. The same as Glennon does. I think it should be a long-held value for everyone because we all have hearts and we all go through problems.

’’If you’re looking at the world today and you are not grieving, I don’t think you’re looking’’, Marianne Williamson said. Well, let’s not close our eyes. I am looking. I am looking every single day and only lately I discovered my empathy and my sensitivity for the pain of others. It’s not just a feeling. I want to do something about it. Let’s all keep an open heart, hold firm to our values in the face of adversity and always, always return to love. When you love you cannot hate. That’s why love is beautiful. It’s an antidote for everything. It gives us the power to forgive, to see beyond the darkness of people and into their light, into their loving hearts. Those who do the most horrific things are those who need love the most. I think we need to start to love ourselves and others more. Stop pointing fingers and look inside at our wounds. Heal them in order to have a better world. I don’t think we should raise our voice only when it’s a national scale injustice. I think we should raise our voice all the time for a return to the love in our hearts. To see this world in a new light, to see it through the eyes of kindness. Let’s learn to love and forgive together because it’s the only way we can heal this planet. I don’t want us to be genuine heroes, really, I want us to be broken, because only in that way we can truly understand the pain of others. I want us to be broken for the better because broken people are all the world’s got. We’re all damaged beyond repairing in some ways, but we need to be willing to have better ideas for our brokenness and do something about it. Let’s not be heroes, but simply ourselves, people who love and want the best for this world. We can all be kind and forgiving and raise our voice for the right things. We can all hope. We can all stop judging others for their shortcomings. We can all forgive and return to love. So, let’s love today and just be broken open to the chaos. We don’t need people who close their eyes, but people who can keep them open and do something about it.

If you like this message please share it with your friends.

Lots of love,

Mădă

Dealing with anger

’The opposite of anger is not calmness, it’s empathy.’’ -Mehmet Oz

Sit with that for a second. Let it sink in.I’ll say it again: The opposite of anger is not calmness, it’s empathy’’. The first time I heard this quote I was like ‚’’ wow, really? I always thought it’s kindness, but empathy? Just why?’’ I started asking myself all these questions, especially now when I’m at a point in my life where I’m healing a lot of unprocessed emotions, past traumas and noticing the negative patterns of my own thinking. Of course, the emotion that I had to deal with the most was shame and her best friend, anger.

When we are angry all our body tenses up, we feel as if we might explode and scream at everybody or just punch a hole in the wall. Filled with the pain of our past wounds we want to lash out at others because we feel as if we are justified. It’s ourselves that we hate and criticise the most. It’s our issues that get triggered not theirs. Anger makes us rude, unkind, putting others at fault for our mistakes and shortcomings. Basically, it robs us of the joy of living a full and complete life. So what can we do about it?

First of all, create space. Take a deep breath, count to ten and wait. Just wait, before saying something that you might regret later on. Wait a few hours or even days if you feel like you need to. Then, accept your wounds, accept that you are a limited human being and you can sometimes get stuck in tunnel vision mindset. You cannot think clearly when you’re in the thick of your pain, you cannot think well when you’re at rock bottom. Raise your vibration. You’ll still feel the anger rushing through your veins as a poison that wants to destroy every core of your wonderful being, but don’t let it. Accept how you feel and respond with kindness instead. Think like this: if someone is going through a tough time and acts rude with you, says something unkind or does something that hurts you in any way, remember that they are the ones hurting on the inside. Remember that we all make mistakes in life and you shouldn’t punish them for that. Yes, you might feel like it, but that’s like acting from your lowest self and in the future, being kind brings the most benefit for  both parties.

,,Hurt people hurt people. Free people free people.’’

Anger is an emotion that we all have to deal with, sooner or later. Believe me when I say I’m the most impulsive person I know and I fought with so many people that I can’t even count on, but I realised eventually that trying to understand where they come from and why they act that way is a huge step in my healing journey. I learn to pay attention to what is rising inside myself, what wounds are triggered and how I can heal them. Maybe this criticism shows me I still believe deep down I’m not good enough. Maybe this action bothers me because I don’t think I deserve love. When you take the blame from the outside world and you focus on the inside a huge change can happen. You become a better person.

One last thing, if you find it hard dealing with hanger just go with the love. You don’t have to believe in God or a higher power, it’s your choice, but just see it like this – we all feel loved at some point in our lives and in that love you know that no matter how many times you screw it all up everything is still okay. That’s what love teaches us, to accept both darkness and light with the same serenity, as if we look at a kid who did not know what he was doing, but unintentionally hurt us.I’m not sure if I believe in something greater than myself, but if I believe in something, then I believe in love and trust me, everyone deserves that. If you want love, give love. If you expect the best from others, be willing to be a better version of yourself.

Anger can be a beautiful teacher, but only if you choose to let it. So, let it.

Lots of love,

Mădă

 

Vulnerability and imperfection

‘Being vulnerable is being beautiful, because this is how we get to be loved – for our fragility and our mistakes, not for our perfection. Love is found in imperfection, in truth and in breakdowns, not in the moments when we are happy.”

 

When I look around I see so many people who share their stories. People who are willing to be vulnerable. There’s something about them that moves others. Every single person is touched in a way that I’ve never seen before. Why so? If vulnerability is such a weakness? Why do we look up to those who are vulnerable? Well, I think it’s because we appreciate the things we are afraid to do ourselves. We try so hard to keep our perfect appearances and our walls ten meters high, but when we see truth, authenticity and others sharing their own feelings little by little our defenses are falling down. We understand on a subconscious level the experience of being human and as a human being, every single one of us faces hardships. We feel like we belong, we feel as if we are heard for the first time. We know there is a story inside of us, too. We understand that we matter. Being human is being vulnerable and when our shell breaks we discover our light. Others shine a light on our hearts when they have the courage to be themselves and their weakness makes them strong in our eyes.

There’s also another point here. My question is ’’why do we love someone?’’. I’ve been thinking about this for the last couple of days. Yeah, we do say ‚’’I love you’’ to people. Maybe sometimes without even understanding why. We do it in a rush or without thinking. We say this to our parents, our brothers and sisters, our friends, but as soon as someone asks us why – silence. We don’t know why. We just do. Well, I think I found a good answer to this question and yes- it’s all about vulnerability. We love people because they are imperfect, fragile, vulnerable. We love people for who they really are with the good and the bad parts. We love them for their cracks, for their smiles, and for their golden hearts. We don’t love them for being perfect, we love them for being true, sticking to their values and mindsets. If they were perfect we would just love them from afar. We would never dare to enter the house and live with them, talk to them, share our secrets and our dreams. When we see a perfect porcelain doll we admire it from outside the glass of a display window. Perfection, a smiling face and a straight upper lip will forever keep our love away from them, because we know the truth. We are all human. We all feel fear, pain, and shame. Being vulnerable is being beautiful, because this is how we get to be loved – for our fragility and our mistakes, not for our perfection. Love is found in imperfection, in truth and in breakdowns, not in the moments when we are happy.

My point is – be vulnerable. I know it sounds risky or like a horror story because I lived these feelings myself, but just think about it. Can you spend your whole life faking being perfect and not truly living from your heart? Can you pay the price of not being seen, heard or even loved? I’ll live you with that question. In the end, you decide what’s best for your life.

Hugs,

Mada

 

 

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