Cheater On Life

”I think it’s time for me to tell my story”,

I told you this in all the conversations I’ve made inside my head,

None of them you know anything of.

I think it’s time for me to follow my calling

I think it’s high time to drop that mask, wall, hole

Whatever.

If life were a game of chess I would have found the shortcut

I would have found a way to cheat

‘Cause I am a cheater on life.

I cheat on everyone I know with pretending I am something that I’m not.

Truth is, I love to cheat on the rules

People get bored because they work hard

I just play…play them.

This is me, I am a cheater on life

And I feel good about it.       

Let’s make new rules.

Lots of love,

Mădălina Dan

 

Image source: https://www.youtube.com/

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What it takes to be yourself?

 

”Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

– Margery Williams

 

Hello, dear readers!

I read yesterday a story called “The Velveteen Rabbit” and I wanted to share with you a short paragraph from it. In my eyes, it’s about becoming authentic in life. I will let the paragraph speak for itself. Enjoy 🙂

“What is REAL?” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Lots of love and always remember – be authentic each passing day. You can never get ugly, only more beautiful.

Hugs,

Mădălina Dan

How to describe a kiss

This is a poem about my writing process and the moments when the voice inside my head gets really annoying. Trying an failing, ups and downs, an inner critic that never stops- that’s how I see it. When you get to the finish line it’s all worth it, but the process can be tiring sometimes. Enjoy 🙂

”Describe a kiss” –  inner critic whispers
My voice is trembling with anticipation
“What did she want me to say?”
I feel the heart in my chest “tum, tum, tum”
“Blah, blah, blah” my mind responds
“Describe a kiss”, yeah right, I know
Worst poetry
An intertwining of lips, crushing of stars
No, erase.
Eyes melting into each other, lips caressing, getting so close that there’s no more distance for air
Erase.
”Describe a kiss”
Well, with him is only cigarette smoke on redness, the taste of dreams at twilight
Sunlight caving in, puzzle solving itself out
Grenade, explosion, canvas with emptiness suddenly full of blistering colours
Erase.
”Describe a kiss”
A song, metal maybe? I know -something symphonic
Instrumental, piano notes carried by the wind
Chirping of birds, the peace of nature,
Leaves rustling, the sound of cars in the distance
Background noise
Erase.
”Describe a kiss”
Myself drowning in water, being somewhere I’m not supposed to, but liking it anyway
Gasping for air, reaching the shoreline
Toes anchored in the sand, waves hitting my body
That’s how I describe a kiss.

Excerpt

Subjectivity, saved by proclivity

Drown in philosophy

Don’t waste your time on mundane sensitivity

The destination is your infinity.

Suffering is inefficiency

My only aim is rationality

Emotions only destroy me

‘Cause I’m feeling it completely

The affection of agony

This madness is keeping me company.

Destination is my infinity

When I drown my affection inside your body

I feel the galaxies reigniting.

Another chapter of your life

You tried. No, I don’t mean you simply tried. You gave your best, you cried yourself to sleep, you hoped for a miracle, you changed yourself, you destroyed your happiness – tried. If you did everything you could, everything that was in your power and it still didn’t pay off I think it’s time to let it go. It might be extremely painful, but sometimes this is the only option. When it’s all said and done, when there are no other solutions, you should have the courage to look in the mirror, sigh and start over – another chapter of your life. I know that it meant a lot to you, I know that what you fought for was considered 100% worth it and I’m not here to say that it wasn’t. I’m just here to say that maybe there is another lesson to learn, maybe there is another path you should walk on and new people to meet. I understand that giving up is scary, that forgetting someone you loved is the most painful thing you could ever do, but there are circumstances in life when you don’t decide. There are moments when your hands are tied and all you can do is sit and wait. Yes, love is beautiful, love is magical and love is worth it, but sometimes love does not solve all the problems in the world. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone they might never want to become their best versions of themselves, they might never see their mistakes and it might never work out between you two.

I’m not the type of girl who gives up, believe me, but I think that life can teach us many lessons and one of them is this– know when to let go in order to be happy, because if you don’t you’ll be miserable. I see the best in others, I see their light even when they are in complete darkness, but I can’t live their life and choose on their behalf. Sometimes, I can only do so much but watch how someone is hurting, how destruction is taking place. Maybe, just maybe what I see as destruction another person sees as an opportunity and it’s all a matter of perspective.

To sum up, know when to let go if you want to be happy no matter how much you care. Truth is, you never truly loose people, they are always there with you, in a special place called your heart.

Lots of love,

Queen of Hearts