Cheater On Life

”I think it’s time for me to tell my story”,

I told you this in all the conversations I’ve made inside my head,

None of them you know anything of.

I think it’s time for me to follow my calling

I think it’s high time to drop that mask, wall, hole

Whatever.

If life were a game of chess I would have found the shortcut

I would have found a way to cheat

‘Cause I am a cheater on life.

I cheat on everyone I know with pretending I am something that I’m not.

Truth is, I love to cheat on the rules

People get bored because they work hard

I just play…play them.

This is me, I am a cheater on life

And I feel good about it.       

Let’s make new rules.

Lots of love,

Mădălina Dan

 

Image source: https://www.youtube.com/

Advertisements

The Paradox of Being Human

 

You can be right, happy or human. It’s your choice.

We live in an era where everything is changing at high speed. Technology is starting to occupy most of our lives, relationships are redefined daily and workplaces are not what they used to be. Given this state, the natural response should be seeing ourselves as a work in progress. Is this truly happening today? Not really.

As far as I can see, most of us have this innate need to be right. We want to control each little detail of life. It doesn’t matter if in our search for acknowledgment another’s experience is diminished.

Although our need to be right might be useful in some contexts, such as the workplace, in close relationships this brings us further away from our partners. We all want happy relationships, but lack of empathy is the underlying reason why we don’t have them. We prefer to live alone and be right, rather than listen and be happy. We have a lot to lose today because of this need to have our view of the world acknowledged. Even if we do, sometimes it is still not enough to get out of our own head.

This is the reason why we can end up in social isolation. If we think we are right all the time we don’t make space for the other person to come forth and show us their unique experience. Every person has a different set of eyes and a brain through which they process the human world. Starting anything with the benefit of the doubt and taking into consideration our differences leaves room for conversation…or as I’d like to call it, for true connection.

Today, everyone is talking about how they want to be connected, but in truth, we are more disconnected than ever. We already know why. In our quest to be right we loose what truly matters most – our relationships.

I found it useful to share with you my personal struggle with this matter. Now you can dive deep into the mind of someone who is right all the time. Please don’t get lost:

’’As a person who likes to have her own way, I discovered the drawbacks of this very thing. You can end up isolated and misunderstood. Instead of trying to switch the point of reference, you remain stuck. There is no room for growth. It’s just suicide.’’

I know I talked about what happens, but how can we change this? Stick with me for another personal account:

’’What I did to solve this issue was to doubt myself. To fit another’s puzzle pieces into my own story. I think that what we need right now is not a rigid view of the world, but rather a conversation about vulnerabilities and the stuff we are going through. We put up walls all the time and being right is just a way of protecting ourselves from the unknown, form saying yes to life, from the whole range of human experiences.’’

”Assuming that I can get it completely wrong was the best thing ever. I got to connect with people, listen to their stories and understand the way each idea was shaped inside somebody else’s mind.”

Instead of choosing between being right or being happy, a question of ’’either or’’, I think we need to get to the core of ’’both and’’. To redefine the discussion towards stories and meaning-making. In my view, there isn’t a right answer, only different versions of the same story.

For those who are strong enough to understand that being a human being is a paradox in itself, I can only assume they will live a happy life. For the rest, I think you’ll struggle to try to find ultimate answers to the questions of life. A quest which will only lead to despair, because there are no right answers, only more questions.

Aren’t we just animals circling around the Sun? Just admit, we are living paradoxes and we have no idea what the heck we are doing here, but we are doing it anyway.

Right or happy? Just be wrong for a second. Just be human. It’s the best thing you can be.

Lots of love,
Mădălina Dan

Image source: https://www.vichealth.vic.gov.au/

What it takes to be yourself?

 

”Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

– Margery Williams

 

Hello, dear readers!

I read yesterday a story called “The Velveteen Rabbit” and I wanted to share with you a short paragraph from it. In my eyes, it’s about becoming authentic in life. I will let the paragraph speak for itself. Enjoy 🙂

“What is REAL?” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Lots of love and always remember – be authentic each passing day. You can never get ugly, only more beautiful.

Hugs,

Mădălina Dan

The Real Me

Image source: https://medium.com/

In 2018 I went to a workshop held by Tomashii and Chery Lynn. They came from Amsterdam to the first Slam Poetry Festival held in Cluj Napoca, Romania. This festival was organized by an association called “Poethree” which promotes Romanian spoken word.

At their workshop, I learned a lot of tips and tricks regarding becoming a better writer. Setting aside composition and structure, one thing that has really stuck with me from that workshop was this – ”be yourself”. No matter what you write or what you do – just be yourself. I think it’s the best advice that I can give to aspiring writers. Inspired by their words and Cherry’s amazing poem, I wrote something that I called ”The real me”. I really hope you enjoy this, because for the first time in my life I put my entire existence on the page, not just my soul.

I
I, that’s writing poetry:

’’Change….of touch

I change with your touch, you change with me.

I touch you, you touch me, we connect.

I believe in my dreams.

I believe in my dreams because you believe in my dreams

I be…be …believe in me for a moment,

A moment in time.

I believe in sadness.

Sadness is therapy,

Sadness in MY therapy,

From the emptiness of our society.

Power.

I have power over everyone,

Except me,

’Cause God has power over me.

I, I that’s writing poetry.

I, that’s real.

I, that’s me.

Lots of love,

Mădălina Dan

Fight for your dreams

 

’’Let go of your story. Tie no weights to your ankles. You can do this.’’

Two days ago I had a mini breakdown. There are days when I feel like this when I want to give up everything. Go back to bed, hide under the covers and never write anything ever again. There are days when I want to give up university, to forget my dreams and trash them all. Then, I remember the reason why I started everything in the first place. I go back to my vision board, only to draw again – this time something better.

Yes, there are days when most of us want to give up on our dreams, I’m sure I’m not the only one. My question is,, what would be left of us if we give up on the single thing we love the most in this life – our dream?’’ For me is writing. For another person might be engineering. For another might be dancing. It doesn’t matter. Your dream is your dream. I know you might make up excuses right now for all your limits, for everything that it’s staying in the way between you and your dreams. I get it. I get it why you do this. That has been me for many years. Years and years in which I told myself why I’m not good enough for writing, why I’m not ready to put myself out there, why I shouldn’t have a voice. Those years are over because when I look back from my death bed I cannot allow myself to see a person who lived her whole life in fear of the unknown. I want to see the person who conquered her worst nightmares since she believed in her dreams. She believed in her dreams more than she believed in herself sometimes. This girl had roadblocks, limits and 1000 reasons why she shouldn’t have done it, but she did. That’s what I want to see – someone who had the courage to ‘turn her can’ts into cans and her dreams into plans”.

What can you do when you are in a gap? When you feel like nothing is adding up? To begin with, close your eyesclose your eyes and imagine the life you want to live, the life of your dreams. Now, open them and start to write. Write what that dream means to you and how badly you want it. Promise yourself that no matter what happens or who stands in the way you will go after your dreams with all your heart, soul and spirit.

If you feel like the end goal is too big, make it small. Each day set a certain time to work on your dream. Each day do something little for yourself. Those days will turn into months, those months into years and sooner rather than later you will realize that you are already living your dream.

Believe me – you can do this. Refuse to give up.

”Life is only a game and the only for you to win is if you play.”

Lots of love,

Mădălina Dan