What it takes to be yourself?

 

”Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

– Margery Williams

 

Hello, dear readers!

I read yesterday a story called “The Velveteen Rabbit” and I wanted to share with you a short paragraph from it. In my eyes, it’s about becoming authentic in life. I will let the paragraph speak for itself. Enjoy 🙂

“What is REAL?” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Lots of love and always remember – be authentic each passing day. You can never get ugly, only more beautiful.

Hugs,

Mădălina Dan

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Growing from trauma

 

From infidelity to break-up to emotional, sexual or physical abuse most of us have a set of traumas and it’s hard to overcome them sometimes. Or maybe, maybe we don’t have past traumas, but life challenges are just knocking at our door, trying to bring us down. Either way, I wrote this poem to remind myself every night before I go to sleep that there is a little light at the end of the tunnel. I also wrote it for everyone who is struggling right now during their journey. I wrote it to tell people: “Hold on. Better days are coming. ”:)

I’m a hurricane girl,

A resilient human being,

A butterfly,

A special person,

A voice in the silence,

A light in the darkness,

I am myself

And I have power

Power to change something.

P.S when in doubt: Your voice matters and you have the power to change something. The world needs your gift. Be brave enough to use it. 

Lots of love,

Mădă

The magic of friendship

 

Each one of us has a little voice inside that whispers the things we need to hear the most – like how beautiful we are. Most often than not we ignore this voice, we ignore our own needs and values, searching for somebody else to feel the void. We shrink ourselves, we become dissembled pieces of a puzzle that was once whole. Armour after armour, we put our shields up, hoping that one day we will be fine. Hoping that one day we will be happy. The problem is, that day is not coming, not until we become brave enough to do the work, to face everything that has been hidden from our eyesight.

I think we need to help ourselves, to forgive and love each part of our mind, body, and spirit, but also never ignore the help of other people. There are so many amazing human beings in this world that are willing to hold our hand when we are walking through storms. These people are not here to take our pain away, but to create spaces where we can feel safe enough to open up and share stories. To become vulnerable and let our guard down for a change. To simply be ourselves, without the need to please or fake a reaction, because we can be accepted for who we are.

There is so much healing in feeling empathy and realizing that another heart is beating in sync with yours, that another human being can actually stay there and listen to everything you have to say. Not judge or run away or criticize your choice, but just listen. See beneath all the layers of hurt and reach your soul. That’s what a true friend does. It doesn’t heal your wounds, but it encourages you to face your demons. It lets you go through your own journey, being fully conscious that one day you will become a beautiful butterfly, even though that day might not come as soon as he or she might expect. A good friend loves you in the most amazing way –  with an open heart and a free spirit.

I think there are no words powerful enough to describe the gifts that the empathy and vulnerability of a true friend can bring to our lives. Maybe they should be described as magic fairy dust because they soften our hearts and the blows of everything that came before. We can see ourselves as worthy of love and forgiveness when somebody else deems us as such, although there are times we might think we don’t deserve it. That’s simply because we tend to be too hard on ourselves and not forgive our undesirable parts, but a friend who truly loves us will look past our mistakes and wrongdoings, will judge us based on our soul. A true friend will set us free from the prison of self-hatred.

Once we understand that a whole new world opens in front of our eyes, we realize that we don’t have to go through the journey alone. Sometimes having a shoulder to cry on can be the best thing. Sometimes what we need is someone to listen and be there. Having a good friend makes us automatically become a better one. We become wise and beautiful and vulnerable, managing to sit with our own grief because we know we are strong enough to hold it in our hearts. We are strong enough to face everything when we know that other amazing people have our back and we are not alone in this complicated place called life’’. We become confident enough to believe in our dreams and see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the end, we’re all in this together, not alone.

Lots of love,

Măđă

What Ballet Taught Me About Life

 

’’Some people see pain. I see beauty.’’

Update: I wrote this a while ago, but I got to publish it only now. Truth is I still resonate with almost every word in it and I didn’t want to modify a thing, although I had to give up ballet due to medical reasons. Dancing is still alive in my heart and I do it from time to time. Ballet has opened a new world from me and I want to give it back its praise. So thank you, thank you for everything. This is to you – beautiful art – and to my teacher, Oana, because she will always be my teacher and my friend.

If there’s one thing I believe is this – ’’art unites us’’. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a kid or an adult. Whenever you see a drawing, a picture, a photograph or a piece of writing you just stay still. Your emotions are pouring out from all your edges and you just feel touched in the deepest parts of your soul. Today I want to talk about the kind of art that makes my soul flutter – dancing. I’ve learned so many lessons in those 3 months since I started ballet and I became another person altogether. I was taught about love, forgiveness, friendship, happiness, pain, but most importantly I uncovered who I really am at heart – an artist. That’s the reason why I wanted to share with you a piece of my soul. This is for you, reader, to scan my mind and draw the conclusions for yourself. Enjoy 🙂

You can love others through art

Our life is awfully short. Just a blink of an eye and it’s gone. In spite of that when it comes to art you feel like your human experience lasts longer because you connect with something deeper. You connect with yourself and your own wisdom. You begin to unravel the vulnerable parts of your being. You connect with the wisdom of your body…and even though people say there is no forever and everything is constantly changing, I tend to disagree. I create my own forever whenever I move my feet. My heart and my love last forever, because that’s the way I know how to love people – through my art.

Your body speaks a language of itself

This comes from the girl who hated her body for most of her life. I’ve been so out of it, so dissociated from my own human experience in this skin. I always called it ‚’’this cage of skin’’…as if instead of a time my body was a prison in which I was locked….but ever since I’ve taken up dancing I began to listen to my body’s voice…and I was astonished to discover that my body is speaking a language of itself…and it can create stories from dust, just with some simple moves.

Limits are just an illusion of perception

I know I’m not the most flexible girl and I’ve always been told that I cannot dance, that I suck at listening to music, that I would never be good enough in this field. Sometimes I doubt myself when I listen to my inner critic, but despite all of that I get up every single morning, I stretch and I dance. I don’t do this just to brag about it. I do this because I love it because my soul is pulsating under my bones and I feel the need to rise my feet from the ground. I know there are girls more talented than me, but I put 110% percent of my presence in the dance and in the workout. It’s like there is no space between myself, the music and the dance. We become one. We morph into the same entity because limits are just an illusion of perception.

Let emotions flow like waves

I’m 21. Still young, I know. At 21 I’m on the road towards finding myself and one thing I know for sure is that I love telling stories. I love drawing. I love writing…and I love dancing. Dancing is as closest to me as my notebooks…and trust me, there’s nothing I love more in this world than the pen and the paper. I discovered that just like in writing, dancing is about emotions and expressing yourself. It’s about the feelings you have inside your heart and how you let them flow through your body. Just like waves. Dancing helps me draw a picture of life, not with words, but with feelings…and moves.

Be creative

I love ballet, but the goal of dancing, at least for me is telling a story through my body. I don’t know whether this is against the structure of ballet (still trying to figure it out), but this is how I feel. I always thought that ballet is cold and heartless, but as I am doing more and more of it I am starting to see that everything is not about perfection and structures, but rather about emotions and showing that to other people. What I discovered is that I love to mix contemporary dance with ballet. It gives me the opportunity to be creative…and there is nothing else an artist hates more than following cold structures.

My teacher – a model and a friend

I have an amazing teacher. She is a model for me because she is not only a ballet teacher but also a friend. She inspires me to be a better person and work hard every day while at the same time using my soul in order to dance. She just proved to this world that impossible things don’t exist as long as you work hard for it and believe in your dreams. I remember one of the first things she said when I met her ‚’’all you need in order to do ballet is something that we all have – a soul for it.’’ I’ve seen women in their 50’s doing ballet and being flexible and defying all odds because they believed in their dreams….and I know that Oana believes in us, that’s why I admire her. Moreover, she always inspires each one of the girls with her words and I do not wish to have a better teacher because she is the best. She is perfect in her own imperfections. She is vulnerable and true to herself and that’s why I admire her and everything she does for us.

The value of friendship

There is one thing I learned that really encompassed everything – the value of friendship. It was amazing to meet so many like-minded people in the same room. To see what others are artists and dreamers and just as emotion-like as me. I feel like I finally belong somewhere and every time I see the girls my eyes just light up because I love them. They make me feel seen and heard and understood..and I know I am. In ballet, I can always be vulnerable, but it’s not just about the dance. It’s about forgiveness and connection and love. We go way beyond the dance because our souls are in it…and nothing can fight a soul that is determined to conquer the world.

I have to admit there are still a lot of things I have yet to learn about my body, dancing, forgiveness and true friendship…but I think I am on the road towards discovering who I really am as a person and at this moment I define myself as an artist, a misfit, a writer and most importantly – a young dancer.
Lots of love,
Mădă